Is this the end? We have come to a fork in our road together.. U've put a step down one path.. While I have every intent to go down the other.. Tell me.. Will u come with me? Or shall we end what we have, going in the same direction, but using different roads? Able to see each other, but no longer able to reach out to each other?

My Beth

While browsing thru the novel Little Women, I came upon this - A poem written from Jo March to her dying sister, Beth.. MY BETH Verse 1 Sitting patient in the shadow Till the blessed light shall come, A serene and saintly presence Sanctifies our troubled home. Earthly joys and hopes and sorrows Break like ripples on the strand Of the solemn and deep river Where her willing feet now stand. Verse 2 O my sister, passing from me, Out of human care and strife, Leave me, as a gift, those virtues Which have beautified your life. Dear, bequeath me that great patience Which has power to sustain A cheerful, uncomplaining spirit In its prison-house of pain. Verse 3 Give me, for i need it sorely, Of that courage, wise and sweet, Which has made the path of duty Green beneath your willing feet. Give me that unselfish nature, That with charity devine Can pardon wrong for love's sake-- Meek heart, forgive me mine! Verse 4 Thus our parting daily loseth Something of its bitter pain And while learning this hard lesson, My great loss becomes my gain. For the touch of grief will render My wild nature more serene. Give to life new aspirations, A new trust in the unseen. Verse 5 Henceforth, safe across the river, I shall see forever more A beloved, household spirit Waiting for me on the shore. Hope and faith, born of my sorrow, Guardian angels shall become, And the sister gone before me

By their hands shall lead me home. (The following is a continuation of the novel) So the spring days came and went, the sky grew clearer, the earth greener, the flowers were up fairly early, and the birds came back in time to say goodbye to Beth, who, like a tired but trustful child, clung to the hands that had led her all her life, as Father and Mother guided her tenderly through the Valley of the Shadow, and gave her up to God. just something to ponder..

Okay

Okay. I know I havent posted for awhile, Im sorry, no time to hit the blogs at all since Form3.. So.. Yeah.. This'll be a pit stop in my long and torturing ordeal called studying.. Loads of homework, tuition, and Im doing lots of serious juggling to complete all this, a few outstanding projects, and cleaning my room before my dear beloved niece comes back on Saturday. *sigh* Been suffering from severe bouts of depression which comes and goes easily and spontaneously. I seriously regret not doing more to gain your trust and I regret wasting the time I had with you. Now your gone, I seriously miss you. Like crazy. Dun wanna say much in case you see this or something.. So.. Yeah.. So..Erm.. Yeah.. Dont really know what to post.. Its not like my life is interesting anyway. And those parts that are interesting Im not very keen on sharing with the world. Since my blog is open to the people, there is always something or everything that I cannot post. A blog isnt a diary as some might think (oh here I go again) but rather a portal to the world in which we can look out of and explore rather than a diary to record what happens in our lives. Cuz a blog is meant for people to read, and to satisfy people we cannot post items that are negative in nature, especially not toward the reader. This seriously constricts our choices and topics on which to blog upon. I find that most blogs are a LIE in which the author writes not who he or she is, but what he or she wishes to show the world. The real person behind a blog might not be as perfect as his ideals, or stands upon certain topics, for it is not what a person says that shows him, but what he does NOT debate upon depict him for what he really is. -Fin- There. I've just finished one of those periods in which I actually debate with myself upon a topic which is utterly lame. I apologize to all readers for the inconvenience caused by you reading this post. But Im not feeling very well lately both mentally and physically. I just hope Im stil rational and of sound mind when I complete PMR. There. I have posted in my blog. Happy much? Thankee~ The End

No!

No!

Today started out as a GOOD day..

Now its a BAD day..

You said you would wait..

Now you say you dont know

Argh!..

Im so damn confused..

Is it worth it?

Can we go on?

Or is this it?

Just tell me what you want..

Or maybe not..

Cuz..

Im scared.. Of the answer..

Shit..

Shitshitshitshitshit..

Cant breathe..

No..

So Long to 2008

So. 2008 has come and gone. It is now the 1st of January 2009. Walking down memory lane, I reflect on what I have done, and a few memorable events stil cling to mind. Jobweek.. Koperasi day which was also on my birthday, and the various surprises packaged with it.. The time I fell from the 3rd floor to the second (ouch).. The wonderful time I had with my ex girlfriend.. And various band activities.. Antac.. It has certainly been a fun year. However, what was most memorable and fresh in my memories is stil that of Antac 2008.. I grew alot during this camp. It seems that for every camp and/or band display that i partake in, I have grown to love scouting more and more. Although I have plenty of regrets for being a very inactive member last year and not finishing my Usaha scheme, I stil have no regrets for being a scout, no matter what I do. On the other hand, my studies which took a very bad turn in Form 1 and has managed to drop alarmingly every semester is stil worrying me. I wonder if I have enough time to make up for the times I did not even bother to study these two years. It seems I indeed have to burn some more midnite oil to catch up. Target for PMR: 7a.. Wow.. Memandangkan my standard is stil very low now.. *sigh* Oh well.. No use crying over spilt milk.. As the clock ticks on, 2008 is fading into a distant memory with each passing second, hour, day, week, month.. Indeed, 2008 has been a bittersweet year for me. Hopefully, 2009 will take a turn for better in all aspects of my life.

Ready? 3..2..1.. *BOOM*

Happie New Year!!!

All da best to everyone.. Til now, tis' all. Sayonara, and a happy new year to all..

Not Half Bad

So..

Its the day after we went for the shang di procession..

And I realized.. it aint as half as bad as I thought it might be..

Everything went fine, I forgot a few songs,

Got messed up playing Evening Wind by Mok during the most crucial moment

( No offense, Mok, its not like you're expected to be a Lower Brass God or something,

even if you are 'The Chosen One')

*

And..

My mum for once actually came to see her son

Instead of calling another dancing party at our house..

I can tell she really loved our band and our songs,

especially Mamma Mia..

So I think I just might have increased my chances of staying on next year..

**

All in all, it was quite a good evening,

considering how tiring the Kuching Fest parade was..

Im amazed by our band and how far its come since I first entered.

This is the reason I joined scout and then band..

*

For the memories attached to the various events and activities.

I'll never forget knowing people that have made an impact upon my life,

for better or for worse

*

Wilson Mok, The Chosen One and

the guy who actually hit the tiang (hehx)..

..A great guy, and a better leader..

*

Kho Swee Yee, our major,

..who always knew what to say, at the right place, at the right time..

*

Aelred Lee Zhen Hui, my 1st year Antac PL and current T4 TL,

It was Aelred who actually inspired me to continue scouting..

Im sorry for everything I did in 2007 Antac, I know I wasnt the best..

*

David Boon, my current APL and Antac08 APL

No idea what to say..

You touched me in ways no one else has before..

*

Desmond Ong, my Antac08 PL,

..I have no idea how to describe someone like this.

I know no one else who actually doesnt care if a guy fails and fails again,

even when it cripples his patrol..

*

Oh Wei Fung,

I knew I've given you headaches,

and I know we've had disagreements and quarrels.

But you're stil someone who deserves respect.

'nuff said.

*

Brandon Ting,

who's so unreasonable at times and yet I can always laugh around you..

*

Sim Zee Ang,

..I was awed since the first day I met you.

Though I dont know you much, Im stil proud to know you..

*

Abel Tan, who tried so hard at everything..

..Im amazed that what appears is not what is underneath..

*

and even Chang Wee Khee..

Although at times you really wanna hit this guy,

actually.. He's not half bad at all..

At least his intentions are in the right place..

*

No matter what I do, where I am,

how long its been,

I'll never forget my experience in scouting,

the people I met, knew, and came to love,

and the things I did.

**************

Its not scouting that lighted up my life.

Its the people in it.

Thanks, guys..

Cheating in Exams

Has anyone noticed cheating is rampant in school nowadays? This is, of course, asking the teachers and whatever education officials or whatnot who happened to stumble across this page.. Let me give you an example.. My seating in class is the very first row, the very first table.. I'll dub the person sitting behind me as A, and the person sitting in front of the person to my immediate right, which is the first person in the second row (facing the blackboard) as B.. When we were sitting for our Chinese 1 exam, B asked me to give him answers to 15 questions. B has no interest in Chinese at all, and so he's planning to take our Chinese teacher's suggestion to drop Chinese next year as he did not want to fail Chinese in PMR..He said since this was the last time he was taking a Chinese exam, he really wanted to pass it, even if it meant cheating. So I gave in and we reached an agreement. When the teacher wasnt looking, he would look at me and show me a question that he needed an answer to. Example: When he wanted the answer to question number 13, he would show me a 1 followed by a 3 using his fingers, and I on the other hand would give him a signal telling him if the answer was A, B, C or D. I did this by touching a part of my face: A - the eyes, B - the nose, C - the mouth, D - the ears. Through this method, I gave him 15 answers for Chinese 1. Another method is to scrunch up pieces of paper and scattering them around the table. This will make it look like they're pieces of rubbish. When the time comes, you pick up the pieces of paper and scribble your questions onto the paper. This is done when the teacher is walking around the class or when she isnt looking. Then you pass it to the person behind you, like me, or you throw it to whoever you want, also when the teacher isnt looking. That person then gives you the answers and then gives it back to you. Efficient if you do it right. One more very devious method is left for me to introduce to you. Im sure most people out there are familiar with the alphabetical capabilities of the Casio fx-570MS scientific calculator, right? In case you didnt, this calculator can be used to type out all the letters of the alphabet except Q, V, W and Z. J, L and S is substituted by the number 5, which looks like those.. Now during the Mathematic 1 test on Friday, which is yesterday, we were allowed to bring in our scientific calculators for the exam. We were baby-sitted by a teacher whom i will not name. This teacher is very strict and his/her wrath is not to be tested. Then i had a problem with question number 37, to which i could not find the answer, no matter how hard I tried. But since I could not turn around or pass notes or anything for fear of the teacher, I did something very (pardon my arrogance) clever..Well, I dont think it qualifies as clever, but.. Using my 570 calculator, i typed in the words 1f CORRECT h1T mE which comes across as 'If correct, hit me' and angled the calculator so he could see. Hoping A behind me had noticed, i typed 37.A i heard a rustling of papers, but no response. Good, he knew what I wanted. 37.B, i typed. Stil no response. Then i typed 37.C ..and he subtly, ever so subtly nudged my back. BINGO!! Now is that sweet or what? Haha.. The point of this post is, it is very very easy to cheat in exams since teachers dont really notice what you are doing. However, if the teacher does actually pay more attention to the movement of students in class, THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AT ALL!!! So, teachers and whatnot, I issue you a challenge. Try to catch us. There's a few cheaters in every class. Well, except maybe 2g and 2h. But my point is made. Touche.