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Saturday, January 3, 2009

Jokes! More Jokes!

The below content is not suitable for those below 18 years of age. Please do not continue if you are younger than 18 years old. Thank you. ****************************************** Having said that, I will thus say that the below is some of the less gross ones.. Enjoy! *** Ordeal of fruit You guys have probably heard this before, but.. Two guys were marooned on an island and were captured by cannibals. The caanibals told them that unless they underwent the Ordeal of Fruit, they would be killed and eaten. They were each instructed to collect 100 of any type of fruit and bring it back. So they both set off and an hour later, the first guy camme back with 20 grapes. The cannibals then ordered him to shove all 100 grapes up his asshole. If he laughed, he would be killed immediately. Before the guy even put the first grape in, he started to smile. A few seconds later, he chucklled and finally laughed out loud. The caanibals said to him, " You do realize that you are now about to be killed, right?" The guy answered, " Yes, but I just thought of my friend who's out there collecting pineapples. *** Elevators A countryside family went to the city for the first time. They were all very awed by the tall skyscrapers and many people. Somehow, the father and son and their mother got seperated. The father and son arrived in front of a metal door that opened and shut into a small metal room. Soon affter, an old woman in a wheelchair came and pressed a button on the wall. The metal doors opened, and the old woman went in. They watched in wonder as the lights on top of the metal doors lighted up one by one, then lighted up in the reverse order. When the metal doors finally opene again, a beautiful blonde woman stepped out and walked off. Man to son: "Son, go get your mother....." *** The flute player A worker at a factory had an accident with the machines one day and as a result, his penis was mangled and nearly destroyed. After over a dozen hours of grueling surgery, the professional surgeon finally patched up the poor guys member. After the surgery, the surgeon handed the man a business card. 'That's my brother," he said. "Go see him, he'll be really useful to your recovery." After taking a look at the card, the man exclaims, "But it says here your brother is a professional flute player!" "I know," said the surgeon calmly. "He's gonna teach you where to put your fingers so you dont piss in your eyes." *** Utterly helpless A man with no arms or legs was lounging by the beach. A few hot chicks came over to his spot. One of them said," Oh, poor you. Have you ever been hugged before?" The man answers no, and the girl hugs him. Another says, " Oh poor you. Have you ever been kissed before?" The man answers no, and the girl kisses him. A third one takes one look at the poor limbless man and says," Have you ever been fucked before?" The man answers no and is very excited. "Well," says the girl. "Now you will be. The tide's coming in.."
***
Size Does Matter
Three men are marooned on an island. A cannibal comes out of nowhere with a
fearsome looking spear. He says he will tell them of a place where there was a boat
if the size of all three of their penises were longer than his.
When he took out his love member, it was a whopping 20cm long.
The first guy unzips his pants and reveals a 10cm long penis.
The second unzips his pants and reveals a 9cm long one.
Knowing they had only 1cm to go to beat the cannibal, they were confident of winning.
The third guy unzips his pants and reveals a puny cock measuring 1cm.
As they were rowing away in the boat the cannibals had grudgingly gave them,
The first guy says, " You guys are lucky my kid is 10cm long.."
The second guy says, " Well, you guys are equally lucky that I have a 9cm long one."
The third guy says, "Yeah.. You guys are lucky I had an erection.."
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Dont balk at the content. No choice, its too funny not to blog..
Haha.. Sorry, all.. XD

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