Lame jokes and all the rest

Gay people invented sports. Who agrees? No? Think about it. Boxing: two topless men..in silk shorts..fighting over a belt.. -Ant- How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. -Emo Phillips- Laundry So they're showing me, on television, the detergent getting the bloodstain out. I mean, come on, you got a T-shirt with blood all over it. Maybe laundry isnt your biggest problem right now. -Jerry Seinfeld- Every group is a racist. White folk will see a group of Indian people together and they're like, "Look at all those brown people, they're probably all very happy together". Then you get together in the same group of people, and like, "Hey, you from India? Im from India. Which part? No, not that part. Go to hell, you dirty bastard". -Dave Atell- Driving lesson Have you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot while anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Some points parents would approve When she was in high school my sister went out with the captain of the chhess team. My parents simply loved him. They figured that any guy who took hours to make a move was fine by them. -Brian Kiley- Carrots: Vegetarians, no offence We've learned in school (Form 2 Chapter 2 Nutrition to be exact) that carrots are good for your eyesight because they contain Vitamin A. Well, why are there so many dead rabbits on the highway then? Explain that, mothers!! Disadvantages of credit cards My wife has tons of credit cards. She has so many magnetic strips in her wallet, her purse points north. -Peter Sosso- Men The problem is that God give man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams-